tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post4155169980110306938..comments2016-02-21T09:49:54.594-04:00Comments on soulblisszen: being...bleuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00467701792949981337noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-60406969994456591302011-08-23T01:31:08.889-03:002011-08-23T01:31:08.889-03:00This is a great post. I came from a house where ev...This is a great post. I came from a house where everything (including my dad's mental illness) was swept under the rug and not discussed, until the frustration/situation became too much and then someone would yell. Not very healthy. I find myself yelling and am working on this. I actually find that my son's behavior gets worse if I yell, which is great incentive to find a better way of coping. Humor helps a lot, as does taking a conscious moment to breathe and remind myself that I'm the adult in the room and have the power to choose how to act. It's hard, but important work.Rebeccahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03110795754864023339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-1929681245879011462011-08-19T18:25:56.230-03:002011-08-19T18:25:56.230-03:00I think for me when I get really upset or mad at s...I think for me when I get really upset or mad at something I try to just walk away from it. That said I know it's not always possible to walk away from kids. Dog and cat? Totally possible. <br />I loved the pics in the previous post and I like this font.battynursehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02240029154165501340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-16269398299092844592011-08-17T04:13:50.143-03:002011-08-17T04:13:50.143-03:00I also fall back on yelling when I am angry. It...I also fall back on yelling when I am angry. It's usually when I'm feeling stressed about other things that I find myself getting easily worked up over some thing my kids have done. Whenever I feel like I've yelled at them and it was more a reflection of my issues that their behavior, i always apologize later. I think it's important for our kids to know that we are human and we make mistakes. And when I make a mistake, I want them to observe me owning up to it.Noreenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02785433216564977573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-4204203176823582822011-08-16T15:08:53.047-03:002011-08-16T15:08:53.047-03:00This is my biggest struggle, too! So I don't ...This is my biggest struggle, too! So I don't have any answers. I do find, though, that when I remind myself that the only thing that matters in the grand scheme of things is taking care of this little person (vs. dishes, sorting socks, etc) then I can stop, focus on him, and usually that puts us both back on track.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13584623209829015563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-56310341668620089622011-08-15T21:16:08.737-03:002011-08-15T21:16:08.737-03:00I like to stop, take one deep breath and say to my...I like to stop, take one deep breath and say to myself- "what is the root of what is going on here?" Breaking it down in my mind before I respond has helped me allow the other person to talk and process first before I respond to the chaos. I have to constantly watch my volume level- even when I'm not mad- so the breathing helps. That being said it works maybe 75% of the time. :)Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02724624777784290329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-27578562338274008772011-08-15T17:26:59.912-03:002011-08-15T17:26:59.912-03:00loved reading this post & the responses before...loved reading this post & the responses before me. <br /><br />it is really hard in those moments to keep calm. i try to just remove myself (and the offending child) from the situation and do something completely different - go outside, go take a bath, etc. that generally diffuses the tension. <br /><br />and, like one of the pp'ers, the clearance aisle at target helps with the broader stress level! ;)anofferingoflovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14787985680863798995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-32722101122132105332011-08-15T12:33:19.790-03:002011-08-15T12:33:19.790-03:00No advice to offer. My baby has yet to be born. I ...No advice to offer. My baby has yet to be born. I suffered physical abuse as a child as well, and I imagine that I'll go through similar issues--in fact, I'm already experiencing old grief and I'm only 17 weeks along. <br /><br />I appreciate the thoughtful blog entry.eeny meenyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07946856462857038792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-84483173369916493032011-08-15T09:03:01.810-03:002011-08-15T09:03:01.810-03:00Yes, the font is much better. Thanks so much!
As ...Yes, the font is much better. Thanks so much!<br /><br />As for calm, I have to just walk away and be alone. That said, I've never had that experience with my son, only adults. Have to dash - take care!MSEHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02415018485671115445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-59681215218107528552011-08-14T22:03:33.916-03:002011-08-14T22:03:33.916-03:00With twins and four older kids from DP's prev ...With twins and four older kids from DP's prev relationship the house gets chaotic often. I too am Type-A and lived alone for 20 years before me and DP connected. It was a lot of change really fast and I did become flexible however there would be days I simply couldn't breathe - still happens. Depending on what options are available I will Clearance shop at Target for an hour and sometimes buy nothing, go to the batting cages down the road from our neighborhood and feed that machine til my arms can no longer lift a bat, or do some landscaping in the yard - we have an acre of dirt - we've planted 30+ trees and I did all the trenching for the water system and there's always more to do - trimming trees, hedges, mow the lawn. Basically, give me "me" time. I catch myself yelling and it breaks my heart when I see on rare occasion when my little girl cries from fear - like "Kitty" and Boo when she catches him scaring the kid from Monsters Inc. It's very eye opening and makes me calm real quick and I apologize to them, give her a hug, and we go for a walk or check on the trees, etc. Your awareness puts you in a very powerful position - you will get angry for you are human. We just all need to recognize when we cross that line and address it. Sounds like you're doing a great job. Keep it up. *sorry for the book ;)Malifacenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314808581306185298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-22137724110211740762011-08-14T21:14:29.199-03:002011-08-14T21:14:29.199-03:00I think you know my father is schizophrenic, and m...I think you know my father is schizophrenic, and my 3 younger siblings have serious psych issues as well, especially my brother, who had extremely violent rages. I, too, am a Buddhist as well. When dealing with my family members sudden rages or dangerous behavior changes, or similar behaviors back when I worked community psych, my response is to look them in the eye and think, "What is, is." Whatever the event psych-wise, I have always approached it with the idea that they are the storm and I am the mountain. My patience has always outlasted their behaviors. Because I have had such extremes in my life experiences, ordinary annoyances do not in any way rattle me. <br /><br />Now that I have children, it amazes me what I did at his age and younger: changing my own diapers, taking care of a baby, telling my father how to behave. It also gives me new respect for what my mother went through when she left him and took care of 5 small children by herself. In a way, having children has healed my relationship with her. I can see now that she truly took care of us as much as was humanly possible.MrsSpockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792687516201324640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2666213737256536725.post-49190497601302762342011-08-14T19:40:16.532-03:002011-08-14T19:40:16.532-03:00I take a drive. It tends to work very very well fo...I take a drive. It tends to work very very well for me to drive my car fast and have air coming in through the windows with the music loud. For the past 10 days, whenever I've been stressed I snuggle into my daughter and take a few deep breaths of baby sweet and calm. I'm guessing I'll need to find some new methods when she's the cause of the stress:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com