I have a lot to talk about. A lot I need to get out and put down and let go.
I am getting close to being ready. It is bubbling up.
I read iamvulnerable or Eden and it just clicks how necessary it is for me.
But...
not yet.
I am simply too tired to spend that much energy crying and typing all I so desperately need to.
It will come soon. I have no choice.
You see this is really my only outlet anymore.
At least for now. And I am trying to reconcile that too. But more on that later.
More on so much...
more.
So...
For now I leave you a song that just crawls into my core and moves me to my bones. That just makes me feel so much when maybe I do not want to feel what is right there shoving to get out. This song lets me feel and cry and not lose it completely.
Like the valve on a pressure cooker, it just lets a little steam out so I don't burst.
I fucking love this song.
12 comments:
Awesome song! I love it! Thanks for sharing it. I hope you can find the energy and strength to share your feelings. It's so rewarding and so hard to be a 24/7 mom, teacher, doctor, housekeeper, counselor, chef, IT specialist, fix-everything-that-breaks person, and on and on. Plus having financial issues is unbelievably stressful, as you know. Plus being in a new country, somewhat isolated, without your "tribe" has got to be super rough.
Are there counseling services available for you in Canada? It sounds like you could use someone to talk to.
I think about you often!
Kim C.
Oh my sweetheart! Love love love love to you. And nothing but.
I really feel a kinship with you, Bleu. Always have. XOXOX
♥ ♥
so sorry you're having such a rough time.
Ready for you when the valve breaks- *hugs*.
Hugs to you. Thinking of you.
I've been wondering where you've been. I hope that you can find peace in getting it all out...when you're ready. Post photos of the kids when you can. I'm sure they're growing and growing!! :) XOXO
Glad to at least get this update from you. Take your time in recovering because it's a lot. Just remember that we're here for you and are excited to continue to read your journey.
I love you Ms. Bleu
I'm sorry it's so rough for you right now. I'll be here with the rest of your people when you feel you can let it out. Huge hugs:)
Thinking of you tonight and hoping you're ok.
Came across you through Eden -- and have wondered of you.
Just wanted to let you know I had been here -- that I am thinking of you.
Pam
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