Tuesday, October 13, 2009

three years...

Today is three years since I began this blog. It amazes me. So much has happened since then. I began this blog because I was facing infertility and needed support to get through it. I knew if I was to be able to deal with it I would need the support of other women who "got it" and understood what I was going through. It was not something I could find in my circle of friends and I knew if I was to make it through the long haul I had to get what I needed to survive.

I found Mel's blog and found my lifeline. Looking back I am proud of myself for knowing what I needed and seeking it out. It makes me chuckle because it could be seen as a sign of maturity and that sounds so corny, but I have come a long way in my life and I think it is important to be aware of your journey and give yourself kudos for your own growth.

Anyhow three years, wow, it has been quite a journey. I always knew I would get here, but not how, and not when. I knew I would end up here though, because I knew I would never stop until I did, it was too important to me. That is why I had to have support, because I was not sure how hard the road would be and I knew I needed help making it through. It was far more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but also really OK.

When I was young and went through crap I had this fear/dread of thinking things would never get better. That I would always feel that way that I was feeling. It was awful and really unhealthy. I know better now and it makes for a much less painful world for me in general. I think having this blog has really helped me achieve an awareness of that knowledge.

So thank you all, each and every one of you who has read and supported me these last three years. It has meant everything to me, it has gotten me through. It is how I am here today with my daughter and my sanity in tact.

My love to you all.

11 comments:

anofferingoflove said...

sending much ♥♥ back at'cha!

and happy belated thanksgiving!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Sending so much love and hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving.

Happy blogoversary, sweetie.

battynurse said...

Funny, I started blogging 3 years ago on the 26th. I think though it was about a year after I started that I started reading your blog.
This is a truly amazing community and I've "met" a lot of fabulous people. I'm so glad you're one of them!

Infertile Myrtle said...

Happy blogoversary! :)

tireegal68 said...

Happy happy day day! You have come so far in the short time I have followed you. Yours was one of the first blogs I "discovered" in my BBC days. You give me hope that good things can happen for me and all of us out here in IF land. Congratulations!

Cajun Cutie said...

I have enjoyed reading your blog and learning about your life and experiences.

Nikki said...

Dear Bleu,


Hi, my name is Nik Sonfield and I’m writing on behalf of Mind’s Eye Productions and it’s founder, Deirdre Fishel. We love your blog and thought that you and your readers might be interested in Deirdre’s latest documentary, “Sperm Donor X.” The film follows three single women and their experiences as they attempt to become pregnant using sperm donors.

As the daughter of a single mother who chose to use a sperm donor, I believe strongly in this project. I hope you will take the time to visit our website, mindseyeprods.com, for further information. We need more media material that humanizes the sperm donor process! Get “Sperm Donor X” and share it with your friends and community! We need your support!


Here is a little more information from Deirdre about her documentary:


My name is Deirdre Fishel and I have just completed editing a deeply personal documentary that follows me and three other diverse women as we decide to pursue single motherhood, navigate the bizarre waters of picking sperm donors over the internet, deal with our parents, try to get pregnant, and ultimately embrace how lucky we are to be alive now and able to create joyous families of biological and adopted children.

I started the project six years ago, filming myself and the other women for two years. But when my kids were born I took a hiatus, for many reasons. Two years later the call to continue came when a friend wrote an article on single mothers by choice. These women were freaks. They were humorless, even their children seemed to bring them no joy. I become obsessed with telling the story from the inside. The film received a New York State Council of the Arts grant which took it through more shooting. Editing has just been completed by a two-time Academy Award nominee who worked on deferment because he believed so strongly in the project. Now all we need is to raise finishing funds to get it out.

The film is fiscally sponsored by WOMEN MAKE MOVIES, so all donations are tax deductible. Give a $100, get a DVD and a credit on the film. But no donation is too small. Or if you want to help in another way give a house party where you show the film and invite your friends. Every dollar counts. My contact info is ph: 917-922-7845 email:deirdref@mindspring.com. Go to mindseyeprods.com or stilldoingit.com to learn more about me and my work.

Only six percent of children will grow up in a traditional family, meaning two straight people, who marry first, have kids and don't separate. We need more images that show that while going it alone certainly isn't easy, alternative families are in now way second best. Thanks in advance for your support!

Checks can be made to Women Make Movies and sent to Deirdre Fishel, 406 Douglass St., Brooklyn, NY 11217

MrsSpock said...

3 years is amazing! I will be joining you on that milestone in February...

Wishing 4 One said...

Yeah for three years and yeah for Mel huh? I found my lifeline too through her. I started my blog back in 06 too, how time flies man.

Shannon said...

Happy blogoversery!

Ditto what others have said - yours was one of the first blogs I found when I entered the land of IF. When I found your blog, you were newly pregnant with Soul and I was just getting started TTC. I didn't know yet what the road ahead would be like, and seeing your journey - and how hard it was - scared me and I was impressed with your courage and ability to deal with challenges. Now? Now your blog gives me hope.

Demeter said...

I lost the link to your blog, I am glad I found it again! Happy Anniversary and congratulations on your lovely daughter's birth! She is adorable. Now you are three! Did you move to Canada in the end..?