Monday, February 8, 2010

hello, i am...

Hello I am Soul and and I am 9 months now (Feb 4th). I weigh just about 17 pounds and I am pretty darn adorable. At 9 months and 1 day I began to walk on my own without holding anything. Here are some other things about me.



I love to eat things that are not necessarily food. I make my mama laugh often but at times I scare the patootie out of her.




I like to eat food now as well. More and more kinds too. Despite Mama wanting to wait until I am one I decided to eat earlier like I crawled earlier. I eat whole foods only. Today I found out I LOVE pesto with my avocado. I also love my mama's homemade bread and soft oatmeal cookies. I still eat mostly boobie but foods are yummy too.



I like to get into things. A lot. I can spend hours going from emptying everything out of the diaper bag, to emptying everything off the bottom shelves across the room, to opening and emptying out the drawers in the wicker thingy, to emptying out the play tent. And my mama just follows behind me and puts it all back so I can start again.




I have also made my mama so so lucky and thrilled to discover I am a climber. I climbed up here to try and empty these shelves. I also climbed 14 stairs the other day in a few seconds and for some reason it made mama's eye's leak. She changed the gate after that. I think climbing is fun, mama thinks it will make her hair turn colors, I think she mentioned gray.



When I sleep I look like such an angel my mama is constantly taking pictures.




I got a new car and it is very fun to push but more fun to climb.




I really love it when my brother Bliss pushes me around. He loves to do it and we both make car sounds while we go. Notice the item in my hand, I am about to chew on it for 15 minutes straight!



Mama got me a really awesome new car seat (First Years True Fit Monet) and she made a neat tunnel with the box. My brother and I had a great time going back and forth in the tunnel.




Speaking of my brother he just completed lesson 100 today of his reading program and mama was so proud. I am proud too. He read me an entire book all by himself last night. He is the best brother ever.



He is also always asking great questions and explaining cool things. I learn a lot from him. Here I learned how a lollipop made his lips super red. Mama called them extra kissable.



Sometimes there is nothing better than just "getting him."




That's all for now. Bye.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

our unschooling and learning...

Soul today, taken with corn starch all over her face. She is on the cusp of walking. She is standing for prolonged periods balancing without holding anything. She is starting to try to walk and walks everywhere holding on. It will be days or weeks. She is not yet 9 months old. She can climb stairs with terrifying speed as well. She is currently 16.6 pounds and 26.5 inches tall. A wee thing to me. She is precious.


K77 asked me about our homeschooling stuff in my last post so I am family getting to writing on that. We are doing primarily unschooling in our home. I was a great rote learner in school. I did well with that methodology growing up but I do not really agree with it. When I was teaching I used a lot of rote methodology in my classrooms, along with alternative methods, Gardner's 7 Intelligences and a whole host of whatever I thought would grab their attention and imaginations. But still I used a lot of rote methods.

I came to unschooling like I came to much of my choices. Through reading and self-searching what my ultimate goals were with him. But the hard part was unschooling myself. That took work. I learned though, that being the constantly-curious-researching-random-crap-I-think-up-always-looking-to-understand-the-who-what-when-where-why-and-how-of-things type of parent makes me a great source for guidance in unschooling.

The reason I say we mostly do it has much to do with reading. Bliss was never interested in being read to. I would do it but often it was met with "are we done yet's" and I learned not to even push that. When he was interested I read to him. He was also not ready to learn to write or read and when I shifted to unschooling away from what we had been doing with lots of workbooks and timed lessons I also let go of all pushing. I did, however encourage any interests and realized early on his preferred medium for learning was the computer.

So we got lots of great learning games like "Pajama Sam" and "Freddy Fish" and "Putt Putt" and he loved those as did I. We had some educational games as well but again I did not push. At 6 I began worrying about reading more often and I found a great site called Click-N-Kids which was perfect for him. It was phonics, it was computer based, and it was a lifetime one time reasonable price so it could be used later for Soul. And he started it. He liked it but was still just on the verge of really interested. It was more a hit or miss and I knew with learning to read it is best an every day thing. But I was pregnant and in hell with getting stuff wrapped up to move across continent and to another country. Then when we got here things were still crazy and then we had dial-up and it was not working. So I put it off.

I had Soul and gave myself permission to not worry about it for a while. Then things settled down and Bliss also suddenly began showing huge interests in reading. I could not get anything working on his computer with our shitty dial up so I began searching for something else to help. He knew the letters well in capital form and he knew the sounds also but he still struggled sounding out words or reading.

After a lot of searching I decided to try "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" by Siegfried Engelman. It is didactic to say the least as it is completely scripted but I discussed it with Bliss and he sounded interested so we decided to give it a go. I even made a star chart for the 100 lessons and bought colored stars and gave Bliss incentives for every 10 lessons. We made a pact that if he completed all lessons with me he would be able to read. This excited him a lot. We also had a pact that it would require 15 minutes a day of complete focus but that was all.

I do not do star boards or incentives usually but this was a commitment of 100 lessons and/or days depending if we did more than one lesson sometimes. We began and did 2 lessons a day for the first 50-60 lessons. He has really excelled at it and really enjoyed it. He is sounding out words everywhere. He is asking to be read to and forgoing video games in favor of reading or writing.





One thing I was not expecting in the book was the writing practice at the end of every lesson. I was seriously worried about it as Bliss did not even have proper holding of a pen down and balked whenever I tried to guide him or suggest practicing writing. But with the book, because he knew it was scripted I think it helped. At the start for sure because he was following what it asked of him and it promised him he would be able to read. The book starts out telling the child that. So at first he was ok trying and soon he realized he could write letters and then it quickly became ok for me to be helping him with it.

I am a stickler with letter writing because I know his first imprinting learning how will follow him forever so I make sure he does it completely how it is shown. And although there are days we have to do it over and over he still loves it when I high five him and tell him how awesome his letters are.

So today we finished lesson 80 and this week I got Click-N-Kids to work on my Mac computer with the dial-up. So now along with his one lesson a day he is also doing a Click-N-Kids lesson each day (there are 100 lessons there too) And those are totally different and also encourage spelling practice throughout the phonics learning and also keyboard work since it is online. He also told me yesterday that when he finished the book he wants to do it from the start again, with another star chart but without the every 10 lessons incentive because that was just for the first time and he thinks a second time will be great practice and fun.

So to say the least I am thrilled.

As for other subjects we do math together and he has a lot of favorite Leapster math games. Bliss, however, is a total math head and asks numbers questions all day every day of his life. And other subjects, well we happily unschool those as well.

I thought I would share a lesson we had today about reproductive physiology. Bliss asked about when he would be a father. He thought it would be when Soul had a baby and I explained to him how it didn't work like that and how he would have a baby just not carry it and it could come from him through sperm from his bally's (what he calls his testes). So I then decided to explain sperm and eggs and mitosis and meiosis to him but where we were we did not have paper so this became the ultimate unschooling lesson and I decided to capture it on film for our future enjoyment.




FYI it also gave us another opportunity to discuss how he was made and his donor and how Soul was made and her donor. We have been discussing this openly since he was 3.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

new year happy...





So Christmas was lovely. New Year's was also very nice. I am at moments taken aback by how truly fortunate I am. I did a toast with my family this year and sobbed my way through it thanking Bliss and Lu for their patience and support and love in helping me finally get Soul in mine and our lives. It was so deeply felt, all the struggles, all the heartbreak and pain and all the emotional hell through so many years.

She is so truly my Soul. She just has me utterly besotted. She is funny and clever and so smart it is frightening. She turned 8 months this week and she is trying to walk. She has been letting go of stuff while standing and just balancing there for eons. She will race in the opposite direction if you walk towards her and she is up to something. She steals my glasses off me and then squints and lifts her shoulders with this little sneaky look waiting for me to call her "thief!"

Bliss just adores her and she him. He is always taking care of her and watching out for her and talking to her. If she is away from him for very long he tells her how much he missed her while she had a long nap or whatnot. He checks on her when I need him to and loves to carry her around. She just adores him doing all this and will still laugh for him way more easily and way longer than for anyone else. She also never ever minds him picking her up or carrying her anywhere which cannot be said the same for me. The other day I wanted her out of the pantry but whenever I went to get her she would screech at me like it was going to upset her so I asked Bliss to get her and she just smiled up at him and grinned at me.

She is long but still small otherwise. Almost 16 pounds but long long long. She does not have fat rolls like Bliss did but the cutest round belly ever. She dances to music and sings the sweetest soft high pitched songs. We do this singing back and forth thing when I can get my voice to go high enough.

In other very exciting news I have been working with Bliss with our homeschooling and he is now officially reading. It has been very exciting and we do work on it 7 days a week and we both love it. It is so exciting to experience this with him. He truly finally became interested and ready and then it was just up to me to teach it and he is just amazing at it. The thing he does that blows my mind.... he reads with voice inflection the first time through. You know how usually children will first read very monotone and not stop for periods all the time? Well Bliss reads with vocal inflections in all the right spots naturally. He automatically raises his voice at a question mark and adds emphasis mid sentence when appropriate. It stuns me and I am so in awe of his talent.

Winter has been lovely here except for my great snow blower debacle. I will never again make the mistake of buying a used snow blower. Enough said.

We are doing ok. Things are very rough financially but we are making it through slowly but surely. I found out this week that I will not have high speed internet until May 2010 which was pretty devastating foremost because without it I still cannot work online which I would like to be able to be back doing. Secondly because I have so much day to day stuff and pictures to post. It took almost 3 hours to upload the pictures for this post alone and it just makes it hard to blog and I so want to.

Anyhow that is my latest update. I am happy and in love with my children, my family, and Canada.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

day late...


Happy Solstice
Happy Holidays
From Our Lovely Home
In Our Lovely New Country
Canada!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

looking for...

OK, I am putting out there that I am looking for wool soaker longies. Specifically I am trying to find a gently used Disana longie or an Aristocrat longie or a Babyology longie. If anyone has one for sale please let me know. I cannot afford new at this time but eBay has very little. Soul is really only doing them and I have only one Babyoloy longie to it is getting a LOT of use.

Anyhow I thought I would see if anyone has any. I also could barter some all-in-ones or pocket diapers for them if interested.

More soon plus pics I swear!!!!

Quick business update, we will close down the truck next Friday. I am accepting it but it is still hard.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

un-fun update...

Things have been hard, and slow, and not going well. We first could not park where we wanted, then traveling to another town was yielding 2 sandwiches a day. Finally we got to be parked in a better spot locally but it took time. Then the truck has had two minor breaks which needed repair and money. And we have been shot down to sell many places.

I have been stressed and sad and frustrated and therefore not blogging much. It has been hard. There is a concrete plant 5 minutes from here. Probably 25 pick-ups are parked in their parking lot daily. Construction workers. The entire reason lunch trucks were created. And I am told no, that "his men bring their lunches". Just like that. Shot down. I was sweet and friendly and it was maddening. Then there is the other place we cannot get a call back from that has 400 employees and only vending machine food.

I could go on and on but I won't. We will likely have to shut down for winter now which we did not want to do. Lu is putting out her resume and I am selling things on eBay, or trying to. If the damn high speed internet would ever get here I could get back working online but of course that is not here yet.

So I am frustrated and sad.

In children news they are great. Soul is trying to walk and mobile as hell (I still feel cheated on this). Bliss is doing great and we have been doing much more homeschooling stuff. He is just learning to read and getting excited about it. He turned 7 last week. I need to post a TON of pictures but I just don't have the patience this week with the dial-up.

Anyhow I am still so lucky and still happy in every nook and cranny of me even though the work thing sucks. I know it is still a great potential and our starting time is just off with the seasons. We will be back in the spring, I had just really wanted to offer it year round. There is nothing around. Everyone who buys, loves our food, they rave, but it is just hard.

Anyhow I am stopping now before I begin ranting more. I hope to post a happy picture filled post soon.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

a new beginning and a year...

Thanks so much to everyone for your thoughtful support to the last post.

Today....... we began our business.

The day started out with everything going wrong before Lu could even leave in the truck. I spent the day going back and forth to her and we sold very little. But it is all expected and it will get better and I am so glad we have finally begun.

Once we get the flow and things pick up we will hopefully then be able to have the truck painted to look like a lunchbox. For now it is just painted all fresh white. Our name is taped in the upper side window and we look pretty plain. But all that is fine. It has taken so long to get to this place and I am just focusing on the fact that we made it here.

Thanks for all the well wishes, PLEASE continue to send them our way.

I will post more about the business as we get more established.

It is interesting, a year ago tonight I was at a hotel in New Brunswick having spent the day driving Bliss and I around looking at the province. Tomorrow will be a year to the day from when we first saw the town we live in now and a year to the day from the first time in Nova Scotia.

WOW what a difference a year makes.

Thank you Canada, I truly love you so much.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

to the queen of misery...

That is your comment to my love letter to my daughter?
Seriously?
I feel so sad for you that you see life that twisted.

So I shall answer your questions.

1. My son is 6, a beautiful, perfect, young six and he wears what he wants. Underwear often and naked often. He is 6!?! I wear whatever, mostly sari's or sweats or nothing if I am so inclined. We are not nudists if that is what you wondered. We are normal people who have no issues with or without clothing like most people we know. My daughter does not go naked so often because she is a baby and it is not hot here but she is put in sunshine naked when possible as recommended by our doctor because it is good for babies and children. It speaks volumes about you this bothers you so much. I do not see anyplace for your issues on my blog personally.

(funny note to other usual readers, until that time in these recent pics she had only moved inches backwards on the floor and never on her knees, that day the sun was streaming in and the house warm and the second I got her undresses she was up on her knees in a flash and moving forwards and there has been no looking back since. I guess she needed to really feel what she was doing to put it together. Wayyyyy too soon if you ask me!)

2. This was so sadly hostile. I have never gotten anything but praise for my parenting practices, including my previous neighbor who worked for CPS (DFS equivalent). I moved to Canada, as is stated in the blog often, for political reasons. I also passed all the State and Federal background searches they give everyone who immigrates you twit. I also never hit , spank, smack or belittle my children.

3. My son watches TV, he plays video games too. He also eats meat. I also monitor every bit of it. He also has time limits and is never allowed content I believe to be too mature or aggressive or violent. He can take or leave TV because it was never made a huge deal as it was in my own childhood. I have also gone over this in my blog. I am a parent who has spent countless hours reading and studying parenting practices to learn how to be the best parent I know how. I continuously work on myself and my parenting as my children grow so I can continue to be a better parent. I follow attachment parenting practices for the most part. I believe children are fully individualized human beings with all the same rights afforded to me and should be treated as such. I teach boundaries, right from wrong, and empathy. Bliss and I also play, build, do imaginary games, do crafts, homeschooling, play cards and board games, take walks in our woods, go to play dates, and all sorts of other things. How you "know" what we "constantly" do is beyond me.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

my soul (6 mos)...


My daughter.
My Soul.
My soul.

She is 6 months today and time is so unfair how it flies by with your children.
She is crawling for the past week or two, and she is talking up a dang storm.
But this post is about something else. This is a love letter.



To compare my feelings to relationships, for that is what we have, my children and I, relationships. With Bliss it was like an intense one night stand that turned out to be the best choice ever made. He was very planned but happened so easily and all was so intense from the moment he arrived.

With Soul it was like a long slow courtship with all the years of infertility and trying, and then she came and the birth was so wonderful and gentle and the love grew slowly, softly.

Both relationships took me to the same place. I can honestly say that I love both my children the same amount, the same fierceness, the same passion and wonder. But they grew very differently to this wondrous place. And both ways were perfect and just how they should be.

I am also caught off guard often at how thought provoking having a daughter is. It is so deep whenever I even slightly think about it. So much I want for her, so much I want to protect her from on so many different levels than with Bliss. Yes so much is the same but as a woman, with all the things I have been through as a woman, because I am a woman, it is terrifying yet also such a huge honor. Such a responsibility. Such a blessing.

She is so very precious, and darling. Very very sweet and has these little ways about her. She sings to herself in this soft way I just delight in. She also makes zerbert sounds for ages with her mouth, her cheeks puffing out as her lips and tongue make the spitting sound. She will go from extremely upset where I am running to pick her up or pull over on the road to making that sound completely content , in a 2 second period and I just laugh and laugh. We all do. She just delights and amazes me. She seems like she may be a quirky soul and I find that so totally awesome. I get to know this wonderful person and get to live with her every day of my life. How totally fantastic is that????



Goddess I am lucky.

I am head over heels in love with her and it feels so good. I was honestly terrified for a time that it would not end up here, not like this, not the same, but it has, softly and gently and steadily it has and I am so grateful for it all.

Getting to witness the purity of Bliss' and Soul's love for each other is so breathtaking. Truly it grows daily and they are completely besotted with each other. Bliss always comforts her when she is upset and can get her to laugh longer and harder than anyone else, including me, by a long shot. Soul will follow him with her eyes even if she has to crane her body or try and leap away from my arms.






She simply adores him and he her and these pictures, while adorable, do not do them and their love justice.



Both of my children are such such SUCH extraordinary beings.
Truly amazing in so many ways and it is so evident to me daily.
I just have to stay out of my own way on my journey parenting them.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

happy halloween/samhain

Things are still crazy. I am late with this post partly because of that and mostly because of the damn dial up. Soon they tell me but it cannot be soon enough. I have soooo many posts I want to write and post but it just takes so long and lately any time spent online is with business stuff.

After fun decorating at home we started our week of celebrations with a visit to a corn maze. Another day a nearby tiny mall had a "witches brew" where local businesses gave out treats which was lots of fun. Halloween day began with a small party at a nearby town hall with some friends.And lastly, in our local town, proper door to door trick-or-treating.It was a first for Bliss to go to houses beyond our next door neighbors and he had fun. He began full of energy as you can see above but tired out as shown below. We all did.

At one point I was walking in that get-up, with Soul inside and I was nursing her walking and carrying a treat bucket and going up to doors with Bliss. No way to really photograph it but it was very funny and caused a lot of laughter among all of us who knew.

We had a lovely week and Bliss has yet to get sick from eating candy thankfully. He is really doing great with my rationing. I hope all of you had a great time as well.

In business news the truck finally got done and came back and the health inspector came by and we got our license. Then the same day the water heater sprang a huge leak and so today I finally got that fixed and put it back together so the truck is now done. We also got our first food shipment today. Now it is off to register it finally and insurance needs a huge check and we will be ready to go, just in time for snow. Frustrating, but I am desperately trying to be grateful we have it and this opportunity. It will take a month or two to get flowing but hopefully we can start in the next week or so. I will let you know. Please send positive energy our way for smooth sailing as we embark, finally, on this next part of our journey.

I have a big post about Soul brewing to be done soon.

And finally as a p.s. what I get to see each and every night. Our family bed, which I am a huge believer in and proponent of. I have always taken pictures of Bliss sleeping and now have the added joy of taking pictures of them both. I am so darn lucky. I thought I would share a glimpse of it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

three years...

Today is three years since I began this blog. It amazes me. So much has happened since then. I began this blog because I was facing infertility and needed support to get through it. I knew if I was to be able to deal with it I would need the support of other women who "got it" and understood what I was going through. It was not something I could find in my circle of friends and I knew if I was to make it through the long haul I had to get what I needed to survive.

I found Mel's blog and found my lifeline. Looking back I am proud of myself for knowing what I needed and seeking it out. It makes me chuckle because it could be seen as a sign of maturity and that sounds so corny, but I have come a long way in my life and I think it is important to be aware of your journey and give yourself kudos for your own growth.

Anyhow three years, wow, it has been quite a journey. I always knew I would get here, but not how, and not when. I knew I would end up here though, because I knew I would never stop until I did, it was too important to me. That is why I had to have support, because I was not sure how hard the road would be and I knew I needed help making it through. It was far more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but also really OK.

When I was young and went through crap I had this fear/dread of thinking things would never get better. That I would always feel that way that I was feeling. It was awful and really unhealthy. I know better now and it makes for a much less painful world for me in general. I think having this blog has really helped me achieve an awareness of that knowledge.

So thank you all, each and every one of you who has read and supported me these last three years. It has meant everything to me, it has gotten me through. It is how I am here today with my daughter and my sanity in tact.

My love to you all.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!!

We had a wonderful first thanksgiving here with great food, some wonderful new friends and our awesome family. I am so very grateful for everything I have. I couldn't ask for more.

I hope everyone celebrating today had a wonderful day as well.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

5 months...


She is 5 months today.

Soul is precious and amazing and sweet and loved.

I just sometimes wish she would slow down with this growing older so fast thing.

It goes so fast, even faster with number two. That just sucks to realize.

All is well but things are still not completed. I have lots of pictures to post and lots to say and catch up on but things are hectic and Canada Thanksgiving is a week away, way earlier than I am used to so I feel like I am scrambling bit.

It is just glorious here, fall is always my favorite time of year but my goddess I live in tress heaven I am so so lucky.

Many pics and more posts coming soon.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

4 months 2 days...




She is 17 weeks 6 days today. At 16 weeks 2 days she had a check up and her stats were as follows.

12 lbs 8 oz
25 inches long
15.5 inch head circ.

She is growing and changing so fast. All the cliches are sadly so true, it just flies by. She is sudden;y interested in everything but me or what it is I must do like change her or feed her. She is wanting to explore yet overwhelmed easily. Bliss was exactly the same.

Bliss is still the amazing loving brother and Soul adores him so deeply.He can get a smile out of her like no other. She will follow him with her eyes for ages. He can also make her laugh so long I have yet to match it.

Still trying to get the lunch truck up and running. It is still in the shop getting finished up. Hopefully it will be ready Thursday so I can take it to the next place and then one more after that and we should be done. Problem is people and businesses here are not in a rush so we wait 2 weeks for a one day job. It is frustrating but I am rolling with it.

I am also just done painting the upstairs play room to be and next am laying laminate floor for the first time. Then if I can set up the shelving one damn room upstairs may be finished in the next month. Only 3 to go after that. lol

Still in dial-up hell and really trying to be patient on that front.

I miss reading and being up on everything.

Just another lesson in acceptance though. It comes easier at 42 than it did at 32 that is for sure.

The first picture is Bliss with his favorite swimming instructor. He earned his first swim badge. He loves the water and is amazing in the pool.

The other two pictures are from a trip to Upper Clements Park, a local amusement park we went to. Bliss earned a free pass with the local summer reading program, well we both did as the reading was me reading aloud to him. We had fun earning it and the park was great. We both loved the flume ride best.

More soon.