day late...

Happy Solstice
Happy Holidays
From Our Lovely Home
In Our Lovely New Country
Canada!

looking for...

OK, I am putting out there that I am looking for wool soaker longies. Specifically I am trying to find a gently used Disana longie or an Aristocrat longie or a Babyology longie. If anyone has one for sale please let me know. I cannot afford new at this time but eBay has very little. Soul is really only doing them and I have only one Babyoloy longie to it is getting a LOT of use.

Anyhow I thought I would see if anyone has any. I also could barter some all-in-ones or pocket diapers for them if interested.

More soon plus pics I swear!!!!

Quick business update, we will close down the truck next Friday. I am accepting it but it is still hard.

un-fun update...

Things have been hard, and slow, and not going well. We first could not park where we wanted, then traveling to another town was yielding 2 sandwiches a day. Finally we got to be parked in a better spot locally but it took time. Then the truck has had two minor breaks which needed repair and money. And we have been shot down to sell many places.

I have been stressed and sad and frustrated and therefore not blogging much. It has been hard. There is a concrete plant 5 minutes from here. Probably 25 pick-ups are parked in their parking lot daily. Construction workers. The entire reason lunch trucks were created. And I am told no, that "his men bring their lunches". Just like that. Shot down. I was sweet and friendly and it was maddening. Then there is the other place we cannot get a call back from that has 400 employees and only vending machine food.

I could go on and on but I won't. We will likely have to shut down for winter now which we did not want to do. Lu is putting out her resume and I am selling things on eBay, or trying to. If the damn high speed internet would ever get here I could get back working online but of course that is not here yet.

So I am frustrated and sad.

In children news they are great. Soul is trying to walk and mobile as hell (I still feel cheated on this). Bliss is doing great and we have been doing much more homeschooling stuff. He is just learning to read and getting excited about it. He turned 7 last week. I need to post a TON of pictures but I just don't have the patience this week with the dial-up.

Anyhow I am still so lucky and still happy in every nook and cranny of me even though the work thing sucks. I know it is still a great potential and our starting time is just off with the seasons. We will be back in the spring, I had just really wanted to offer it year round. There is nothing around. Everyone who buys, loves our food, they rave, but it is just hard.

Anyhow I am stopping now before I begin ranting more. I hope to post a happy picture filled post soon.

a new beginning and a year...

Thanks so much to everyone for your thoughtful support to the last post.

Today....... we began our business.

The day started out with everything going wrong before Lu could even leave in the truck. I spent the day going back and forth to her and we sold very little. But it is all expected and it will get better and I am so glad we have finally begun.

Once we get the flow and things pick up we will hopefully then be able to have the truck painted to look like a lunchbox. For now it is just painted all fresh white. Our name is taped in the upper side window and we look pretty plain. But all that is fine. It has taken so long to get to this place and I am just focusing on the fact that we made it here.

Thanks for all the well wishes, PLEASE continue to send them our way.

I will post more about the business as we get more established.

It is interesting, a year ago tonight I was at a hotel in New Brunswick having spent the day driving Bliss and I around looking at the province. Tomorrow will be a year to the day from when we first saw the town we live in now and a year to the day from the first time in Nova Scotia.

WOW what a difference a year makes.

Thank you Canada, I truly love you so much.

to the queen of misery...

That is your comment to my love letter to my daughter?
Seriously?
I feel so sad for you that you see life that twisted.

So I shall answer your questions.

1. My son is 6, a beautiful, perfect, young six and he wears what he wants. Underwear often and naked often. He is 6!?! I wear whatever, mostly sari's or sweats or nothing if I am so inclined. We are not nudists if that is what you wondered. We are normal people who have no issues with or without clothing like most people we know. My daughter does not go naked so often because she is a baby and it is not hot here but she is put in sunshine naked when possible as recommended by our doctor because it is good for babies and children. It speaks volumes about you this bothers you so much. I do not see anyplace for your issues on my blog personally.

(funny note to other usual readers, until that time in these recent pics she had only moved inches backwards on the floor and never on her knees, that day the sun was streaming in and the house warm and the second I got her undresses she was up on her knees in a flash and moving forwards and there has been no looking back since. I guess she needed to really feel what she was doing to put it together. Wayyyyy too soon if you ask me!)

2. This was so sadly hostile. I have never gotten anything but praise for my parenting practices, including my previous neighbor who worked for CPS (DFS equivalent). I moved to Canada, as is stated in the blog often, for political reasons. I also passed all the State and Federal background searches they give everyone who immigrates you twit. I also never hit , spank, smack or belittle my children.

3. My son watches TV, he plays video games too. He also eats meat. I also monitor every bit of it. He also has time limits and is never allowed content I believe to be too mature or aggressive or violent. He can take or leave TV because it was never made a huge deal as it was in my own childhood. I have also gone over this in my blog. I am a parent who has spent countless hours reading and studying parenting practices to learn how to be the best parent I know how. I continuously work on myself and my parenting as my children grow so I can continue to be a better parent. I follow attachment parenting practices for the most part. I believe children are fully individualized human beings with all the same rights afforded to me and should be treated as such. I teach boundaries, right from wrong, and empathy. Bliss and I also play, build, do imaginary games, do crafts, homeschooling, play cards and board games, take walks in our woods, go to play dates, and all sorts of other things. How you "know" what we "constantly" do is beyond me.

my soul (6 mos)...

My daughter.
My Soul.
My soul.

She is 6 months today and time is so unfair how it flies by with your children.
She is crawling for the past week or two, and she is talking up a dang storm.
But this post is about something else. This is a love letter.



To compare my feelings to relationships, for that is what we have, my children and I, relationships. With Bliss it was like an intense one night stand that turned out to be the best choice ever made. He was very planned but happened so easily and all was so intense from the moment he arrived.

With Soul it was like a long slow courtship with all the years of infertility and trying, and then she came and the birth was so wonderful and gentle and the love grew slowly, softly.

Both relationships took me to the same place. I can honestly say that I love both my children the same amount, the same fierceness, the same passion and wonder. But they grew very differently to this wondrous place. And both ways were perfect and just how they should be.

I am also caught off guard often at how thought provoking having a daughter is. It is so deep whenever I even slightly think about it. So much I want for her, so much I want to protect her from on so many different levels than with Bliss. Yes so much is the same but as a woman, with all the things I have been through as a woman, because I am a woman, it is terrifying yet also such a huge honor. Such a responsibility. Such a blessing.

She is so very precious, and darling. Very very sweet and has these little ways about her. She sings to herself in this soft way I just delight in. She also makes zerbert sounds for ages with her mouth, her cheeks puffing out as her lips and tongue make the spitting sound. She will go from extremely upset where I am running to pick her up or pull over on the road to making that sound completely content , in a 2 second period and I just laugh and laugh. We all do. She just delights and amazes me. She seems like she may be a quirky soul and I find that so totally awesome. I get to know this wonderful person and get to live with her every day of my life. How totally fantastic is that????



Goddess I am lucky.

I am head over heels in love with her and it feels so good. I was honestly terrified for a time that it would not end up here, not like this, not the same, but it has, softly and gently and steadily it has and I am so grateful for it all.

Getting to witness the purity of Bliss' and Soul's love for each other is so breathtaking. Truly it grows daily and they are completely besotted with each other. Bliss always comforts her when she is upset and can get her to laugh longer and harder than anyone else, including me, by a long shot. Soul will follow him with her eyes even if she has to crane her body or try and leap away from my arms.






She simply adores him and he her and these pictures, while adorable, do not do them and their love justice.



Both of my children are such such SUCH extraordinary beings.
Truly amazing in so many ways and it is so evident to me daily.
I just have to stay out of my own way on my journey parenting them.

more halloween week...

I forgot to post these.

happy halloween/samhain

Things are still crazy. I am late with this post partly because of that and mostly because of the damn dial up. Soon they tell me but it cannot be soon enough. I have soooo many posts I want to write and post but it just takes so long and lately any time spent online is with business stuff.

After fun decorating at home we started our week of celebrations with a visit to a corn maze. Another day a nearby tiny mall had a "witches brew" where local businesses gave out treats which was lots of fun. Halloween day began with a small party at a nearby town hall with some friends.And lastly, in our local town, proper door to door trick-or-treating.It was a first for Bliss to go to houses beyond our next door neighbors and he had fun. He began full of energy as you can see above but tired out as shown below. We all did.

At one point I was walking in that get-up, with Soul inside and I was nursing her walking and carrying a treat bucket and going up to doors with Bliss. No way to really photograph it but it was very funny and caused a lot of laughter among all of us who knew.

We had a lovely week and Bliss has yet to get sick from eating candy thankfully. He is really doing great with my rationing. I hope all of you had a great time as well.

In business news the truck finally got done and came back and the health inspector came by and we got our license. Then the same day the water heater sprang a huge leak and so today I finally got that fixed and put it back together so the truck is now done. We also got our first food shipment today. Now it is off to register it finally and insurance needs a huge check and we will be ready to go, just in time for snow. Frustrating, but I am desperately trying to be grateful we have it and this opportunity. It will take a month or two to get flowing but hopefully we can start in the next week or so. I will let you know. Please send positive energy our way for smooth sailing as we embark, finally, on this next part of our journey.

I have a big post about Soul brewing to be done soon.

And finally as a p.s. what I get to see each and every night. Our family bed, which I am a huge believer in and proponent of. I have always taken pictures of Bliss sleeping and now have the added joy of taking pictures of them both. I am so darn lucky. I thought I would share a glimpse of it.

three years...

Today is three years since I began this blog. It amazes me. So much has happened since then. I began this blog because I was facing infertility and needed support to get through it. I knew if I was to be able to deal with it I would need the support of other women who "got it" and understood what I was going through. It was not something I could find in my circle of friends and I knew if I was to make it through the long haul I had to get what I needed to survive.

I found Mel's blog and found my lifeline. Looking back I am proud of myself for knowing what I needed and seeking it out. It makes me chuckle because it could be seen as a sign of maturity and that sounds so corny, but I have come a long way in my life and I think it is important to be aware of your journey and give yourself kudos for your own growth.

Anyhow three years, wow, it has been quite a journey. I always knew I would get here, but not how, and not when. I knew I would end up here though, because I knew I would never stop until I did, it was too important to me. That is why I had to have support, because I was not sure how hard the road would be and I knew I needed help making it through. It was far more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but also really OK.

When I was young and went through crap I had this fear/dread of thinking things would never get better. That I would always feel that way that I was feeling. It was awful and really unhealthy. I know better now and it makes for a much less painful world for me in general. I think having this blog has really helped me achieve an awareness of that knowledge.

So thank you all, each and every one of you who has read and supported me these last three years. It has meant everything to me, it has gotten me through. It is how I am here today with my daughter and my sanity in tact.

My love to you all.

Happy Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!!

We had a wonderful first thanksgiving here with great food, some wonderful new friends and our awesome family. I am so very grateful for everything I have. I couldn't ask for more.

I hope everyone celebrating today had a wonderful day as well.

5 months...

She is 5 months today.

Soul is precious and amazing and sweet and loved.

I just sometimes wish she would slow down with this growing older so fast thing.

It goes so fast, even faster with number two. That just sucks to realize.

All is well but things are still not completed. I have lots of pictures to post and lots to say and catch up on but things are hectic and Canada Thanksgiving is a week away, way earlier than I am used to so I feel like I am scrambling bit.

It is just glorious here, fall is always my favorite time of year but my goddess I live in tress heaven I am so so lucky.

Many pics and more posts coming soon.

4 months 2 days...

She is 17 weeks 6 days today. At 16 weeks 2 days she had a check up and her stats were as follows.

12 lbs 8 oz
25 inches long
15.5 inch head circ.

She is growing and changing so fast. All the cliches are sadly so true, it just flies by. She is sudden;y interested in everything but me or what it is I must do like change her or feed her. She is wanting to explore yet overwhelmed easily. Bliss was exactly the same.

Bliss is still the amazing loving brother and Soul adores him so deeply.He can get a smile out of her like no other. She will follow him with her eyes for ages. He can also make her laugh so long I have yet to match it.

Still trying to get the lunch truck up and running. It is still in the shop getting finished up. Hopefully it will be ready Thursday so I can take it to the next place and then one more after that and we should be done. Problem is people and businesses here are not in a rush so we wait 2 weeks for a one day job. It is frustrating but I am rolling with it.

I am also just done painting the upstairs play room to be and next am laying laminate floor for the first time. Then if I can set up the shelving one damn room upstairs may be finished in the next month. Only 3 to go after that. lol

Still in dial-up hell and really trying to be patient on that front.

I miss reading and being up on everything.

Just another lesson in acceptance though. It comes easier at 42 than it did at 32 that is for sure.

The first picture is Bliss with his favorite swimming instructor. He earned his first swim badge. He loves the water and is amazing in the pool.

The other two pictures are from a trip to Upper Clements Park, a local amusement park we went to. Bliss earned a free pass with the local summer reading program, well we both did as the reading was me reading aloud to him. We had fun earning it and the park was great. We both loved the flume ride best.

More soon.

the eyes have it...

The newest picture showing her amazing eye color.

two of a kind...

It is 1:20am and Soul is so wide awake, no idea why.

Things are crazy busy and we are trying to get the lunch truck going in the next 2 weeks so I am horribly behind online and in posting but I wanted to pop on to show this.

Just to further show why I still sometimes call Soul Bliss, here is proof.

Soul is on the left and Bliss the right, both right around 3 months when taken.


I think what surprises me about it is that they have different donors.

lots of new pics...

So things are still very crazy. The business license has been gotten, our tax number stuff done. We have the paint for the inside and outside of the truck but need more that 2 days without rain to do it and that has not happened in over a month.

I love rain though so I m far from complaining.

We still have a TON to do and I go days without even logging online. Still in dial-up hell but hopefully not for too much longer, still waiting on that.

Both kids are doing well except for one thing. My lil one is teething at 12 weeks. I am so frustrated for her. She is so gone I actually had to go get bibs (first time ever really needed) and teething stuff she is so miserable. The worst part is at this young she can't do cold at all so I can't offer to cold washcloth or frozen bite toys.

Other than that we are good. Bliss has a kids triathlon this weekend which is an adorable thing where I can even push him on his bike, which you know I will be having to do.

Here are recent pics.




OK you tell me between this one and the one below, what color are her eyes???


See? It is hard to say!!


He is still melting me daily and just ADORES his sister. Sometimes he wakes her because he is kissing her so much.


This is the camp counselor that is Bliss' kindred spirit. He is just 16 and they play Star Wars and Sonic make believe all day together, he even comes over to play Gamecube with Bliss every Monday. He is very sweet and very tall.



I charged this up and Bliss got to drive it around a few days back. He was pretty shocked how he didn't really fit anymore. It cracked me up and made me sad all at the same time. But ya gotta love the naked driving!!!




He went off the diving board WITH NO LIFE JACKET AT ALL on his second lesson. He amazes me. He says she was helping him and that was why he was ok but she really wasn't. He just hasn't figured out yet he can fully swim, but he really can way more than he thinks.

He made a great splash too.



This is a cute shot and shows the adorable blanket Michell made for Soul.



She loves to stand, has since she was born really but it amazes me how strong she is. Here I give you standing tree pose.


This is her very first dress of any kind my best friend from California sent to her. It is so adorable and the pantaloons are huge but perfect. Note the drool, it is constant these days.


I still haven't gotten a Bumbo yet (**cough** please mail it soon **cough**) so I pulled out the exersaucer. I then found out one spring went missing in the move so I called the company and asked to have one sent but they have stopped making those springs so I had to order 3 new legs and three new springs, which arrived and I cleaned it and put it together and she was overwhelmed in about 2 minutes. It became very clear very quickly she is not ready for it yet so back away it went. But she looks cute in it, this was taken about a minute before the meltdown.


This is truly my favorite recent picture of Soul. It just shows her preciousness off so well. Note please at 12 weeks she is standing on her own except one finger by me. I have a feeling she will be crawling and walking even earlier than Bliss did and he was walking at 9 months. I am in for it!!!

OK all for now, sorry so long between posts and so sorry I am so behind on reading and catching up. I have over 300 and something to read on my RSS feed but it is too hard this next couple weeks. Please know I will get to them and be commenting again soon and as soon as I have high speed again watch out!!!


Mel I miss you my strawberry friend!!!

finally...

We have to get the name set because we need to do the name search so we can register it so we can get our license, so we can get our business account set up at the bank so we can set up our food supplier account etc.

So I was on the phone today with my banker and I told her of our name woes. She loved Moveable Feast but she understood my concern I wrote about below and she asked about the ones I was considering. I was naming them off and after I said Brunch Box she squealed, but she had misunderstood me. What she thought I said was perfect so we finally have our name.

I hung up and called to get the name search done and they said they liked the name and when I mentioned the struggle they said it was good I didn't go with Moveable Feast because it was already taken.

So our official name, pending acceptance in the next two days is...



The SoulBliss LunchBox.

And I want to find someone to paint on hinges, a handle and a latch to the sides.

Now I just have 98 more things to get done before we can be open for business.

still unsure...

So thanks, for all the comments, I really loved reading them.

I really like Moveable Feast, for many reasons. I like the literary reference and that Hemingway wrote about his expatriate exploits and how we are expatriates as well now. I like it all.

Except.

Picture sitting in an office and we arrive. You won't say to tyour co-worker "hey wanna go out to the SoulBliss Moveable Feast?" Or the Moveable Feast or the SoulBliss. You will say "hey wanna go out to the kunch truck, or the roach coach, or the maggot wagon (as I have been told they call them here).

But.

If we called it the SoulBliss Brunch Box, or Lunch Lorry, or Tuck Truck then maybe you would say that and then word could spread more easily.

And I get that but I just feel like there is one of THOSE kinds of names I am missing. That I can't think of.

So anyways that is my dilemma.

clarifications...

I am loving the suggestions.

To clarify, we WILL be doing breakfast burritos which are tortillas with eggs potatoes and cheese in them and options of bacon or sausage.

We will NOT be doing any fried foods, we just do not want to operate the fryer so we removed it.

I have a new possibility I came up with today. Let me know what you think.

SoulBliss Moveable Feast

OK keep the suggestions coming, it helps a ton.

That's all for now.

look what we bought...

OMG things are crazy. I just passed the year since CD1 for the cycle of the IVF that brought me soul on the 14th.

We arrived in Nova Scotia on Feb. 12th and since then we have bought a home, moved in, had a baby, and now bought a catering truck and our starting a lunch truck business in the next month. No one can ever say I am not a doer.

Things are crazy busy and still I am juggling it all with the lil one. She is doing great btw. No bad reflux stuff, a but fussy at times but very manageable. She is also freaking adorable. Strong as all get out, and pretty damn neat to have around.

Bliss is still so great with her, getting better and better at holding her and kisses her a lot which melts me. He is doing day camp, with me there parked with Soul watching, for 2 hours 4 days a week and having fun, although he mainly hangs with a 16 year old counselor who is a kindred spirit. They can play Star Wars and Sonic for ages nonstop. He is venturing out with other kids a little bit more each day which is great too. The counselor invited him, and he was the only young child invited, to his 16th birthday party. We went last night, Bliss got to stay up for it since it was at 8pm at the local community pool, and they had a blast.

Speaking of the pool Bliss had his very first swim lesson yesterday as well and it was his first lesson of any kind ever. He is good in water and did great but it was so funny too. Sometimes she would ask him to do this or that and he would just say "no" very nicely but uninterested. She was great at negotiating though and he had a blast. I only had my cell so the pics suck but next Friday I plan on getting some good pics of it.

OK so the truck, amazing huh? LMAO
It will be, we are getting it up to code and ready. It has a grill and griddle inside. We will be doing sandwiches and Philly cheese steaks, breakfast burritos, along with me making homemade pies and cakes and such. Then Homemade chili and cornbread sometimes or soups at other times. We got it for a great price and really hope to make a go of it. Lu will do the main operating for now since I have the wee one but I am doing all the legwork, bank stuff, and getting accounts set up with distributors, health inspectors, licenses etc. I will also do inventory, cost analysis, menu pricing studies etc.

We were going to call it SoulBliss Prairie Schooner but we are in the Valley not the prairie and Valley Schooner is not a nice sounding to me. Then maybe SoulBliss Lunch Lorry but still I am not liking it. I thought of SoulBliss Bistro or Mobile Bistro but it sounds to posh for what we want to sell.

SO PLEASE ANY IDEAS WOULD BE SOOOO APPRECIATED!!!!

Also anyone who regularly gets cheese steaks tell me what you usually pay for them.

Also any favorite lunch truck foods let me know.

It still needs a paint job and the sign painted on so I need to figure out the name fast. I want to paint it with peace signs and flowers but Lu said not while she is the one driving it. Ha!

Ok all for now, I am back to homework since I have a proposal and business plan due Monday morning.


Soooo sorry I am so behind on blogs!!!!!!

this morning...

The first posted Soul movie. It has taken 6 days to get it uploaded. The ending is priceless.

argh...

My new dial up modem crashed. Second one in 3 months. Apparently the phone line is frying them. Have a movie of Soul to post but can't now. Hope to soon.

oh....

Happy Canada Day!!!!!!!


We had a great first Canada Day and our town put on a fantastic and huge fireworks display.

8 week stats...

weight 10lbs 7.5 oz or 4.76 Kg

Length 24 inches or 60cm


0ver 3 pounds in 8 weeks
she finally passed what Bliss weighed at birth

tidbits...

A few random things.

Bliss loved the show "Get Ed" on Jetix back home. We can no longer find it anywhere and our saved shows on our old DVR do not exist anymore. I also cannot find anywhere you can get the series on DVD so I am putting it out to the blogiverse. Does anyone have a DVD of "Get Ed" or know where we can get one or any way to purchase one.

It was actually a show I enjoyed as well.

I wish I had a movie of what we had to do two nights ago. Soul naps in arms still so she is either in my arms, or if I have to unpack some part of the house, or pay bills or make calls Lu will also hold her while she naps. I did put together the swing this week and she has taken two naps in it but pretty much it is in arms. So she is also still having the reflux and the pain especially at night.

Anyways Lu needed a haircut badly and I do the hair cutting in the home so she came upstairs when Bliss and Soul and I headed up to get ready for bedtime. She was asleep in my arms which was a great thing we did not want to disturb. So I transferred her to Lu's arms successfully and then got Bliss' teeth brushed and face and hands washed and him all ready for bed and then the funny part happened. I had Lu stand in the bathtub holding Soul and I placed a light blanket over her head and face and then proceeded to cut Lu's hair with the clippers.

It was one of those things that is so normal at the time but upon stepping back even an inch you realize how ridiculous you must look. She stayed asleep though, and Lu got a great haircut!!!

News coming soon about an exciting possible business opportunity for us to do here.

a good time was had by all...

I had a great birthday. Bliss is unaware of this but I have a tradition of going out on my birthday and getting him a gift. It is a sweet fun thing now but him having an expectation of it would get annoying when he hits his teens I am sure.

Anyhow we went and got him his first bike. We had no where to ride back home that was safe so he was never interested but we went to a local bike thing this week in our town here and now he has a bike. He was excited and I put on training wheels when we got home.


His cheeks look so adorable in that helmet it is so cute!!




OK and this one just because ...well...seriously do I even need to say why I am posting this one??


I also cut my hair...ok I shaved my head on my birthday and I feel MUCH more like myself now. I do not know why I do this, I try and grow it out over and over but never feel like me with it that way. With it like this I look in the mirror and recognize myself again. It all stems from feeling like others will not think I am hippy enough if my head is shaved. Nothing else is shaved. My armpits and legs are nicely crunchy for my taste but my hair is awful and does nothing and I have a good shaped head. But it is honestly one of the only things I get hung up on with worrying what others may thing.



Anyhow I dropped the hang up again and shaved it and feel much better. Besides now Soul and I have matching haircuts!!


Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes. Thank you Michell for your thoughtful calls and I am so very sorry I forgot your birthday the very next day after mine!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet friend!!